You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
