guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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