Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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