so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize