The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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