im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
dude. I can hear the air.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
