Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
