I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
