If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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