I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
