i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
