Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
