I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
