how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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