I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
