proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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