it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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