I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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