I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
