this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
