Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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