You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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