I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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