You really coming over, don't trick.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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