I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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