That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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