i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
