Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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