walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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