i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
