no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
