I would go down on you faster than GM stock
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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