Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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