Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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