so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
