How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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