Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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