im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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