does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
