and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This house was built for laser tag.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
