Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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