How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
