I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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