If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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