do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
