worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
