woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
