but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
