if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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