just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
