There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
