I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
