All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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