I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
please don't ironically join a cult
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