garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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