She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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