Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
