bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize