who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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