Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
