Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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