The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
