did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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