got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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