drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
