i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
