:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
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it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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