I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
