think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
