is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
