her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize