I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
