4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
